


Touch

by orayang



Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 3
Genre: F/M, Pretty much eventually PWP, Touch-Starved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-26
Updated: 2016-07-09
Packaged: 2018-07-18 07:57:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7306468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orayang/pseuds/orayang
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It all starts with her wanting to touch his hand. Everything starts to unravel after that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Caress

           Since coming out of Vault 101, Jasper had seen nothing but absolute desolation. Theoretically, she knew what the Capital Wasteland would be like, but nothing could prepare her for the desert that stretched before her, the sheen of sickly yellow that had taken over the world. In only her vault suit and Jonas’s lab coat, she couldn’t help but feel exposed. Nuclear bombs didn’t do things by halves. 

           Walking through the streets toward Megaton, Jasper looked at all the broken down white picket fences and crooked mailboxes and wondered what these people, these people who’d lived before the bomb, under a bright blue sky, had been like. Then she realized what she really should be thinking about is what the people of Megaton were like. Wondering about the dead would do her no good now. She could only hope that they would let her find out something,  _ anything _ about her father. 

           Her legs were shaking by the time she saw the walls of Megaton in the distance. Her chest was burning with a cocktail of emotions and she didn’t know where her rage started and her fear ended. She’d never been good at being in touch with her emotions. Introspection was something she never bothered to think about. Too many emotions and unknowns. She could channel but she refused to contemplate. That was enough to keep her going. The moment she thought about the anger, the anxiety, and the disturbing prickling in her eyes, would be the moment she collapsed and possibly never got up. 

           Eventually, she got close enough to the rusty metal walls of the town to meet the guard. She tensed as it came up to her, and she hastily buttoned up the lab coat to hide the fact that her  _ whole body was shivering _ . 

           “Welcome to Megaton. The bomb is perfectly safe. We promise.”

           Jasper’s eyebrows almost touched her hairline because  _ what the hell _ . The panic that bubbled up in her throat was anything but productive so she shoved it down as hard as she could. The town was still standing. There were no explosions. The robots said it was safe. She’d get some answers from whoever was in charge. 

           Frankly, she didn’t know what she’d been expecting of a post-nuclear town. She didn’t know whether she should be surprised because of how primitive it was compared to the vault or because there was a town in the first place. Not to mention that the town seemed to be built around a crater, judging from the way everything was sloping downward. Jasper had to take a moment to adjust her glasses because,  _ what the everloving shit. _ The town wasn’t built around a  _ crater _ it was built around a  _ goddamn nuclear bomb _ .

_            Huh _ , Jasper thought. So that’s what the robot had been talking about. 

           “I’ll be damned, you’re from that vault, Vault 101.”

           Jasper thought her neck was going to snap based on how quickly she whipped around. It was a resident. After living in a vault for years, one got used to looking at the same ol’ blue vault suit. She forgot that other types of clothing even existed. The man had a bushy beard and was wearing a raggedy looking duster, all topped off with what looked like a cowboy’s hat. Of course, she couldn’t look past the gun that hung solidly on his back.

           But then she realized that someone was interacting with her which meant she could ask questions. There was a time and place for questions. She organized all the relevant ones neatly in her mind. Concern for her father was at the forefront, but she had to stay calm. It would only be detrimental to be panicked now. 

           “Name’s Lucas Simms, town sheriff. And mayor too, when the need arises.”

           “Very pleased to meet you, Sheriff. Your town is very charming.”  _ Despite the bomb lingering in the middle of it _ , she silently added.

           Still, he seemed happy to find that she was being agreeable. Jasper nearly sighed in relief. Someone would help her here. 

           “Be nice to my people, and we won’t have any problems here.”

           High on jitters, it was a miracle that she restrained herself from nodding rapidly. Instead, she managed a curt nod. Simms seemed content with her silent acknowledgment. 

           “Good, with that out of the way; was there something you wanted help with?”

           Slowly, she took a calming breath. Trying to remain civil was difficult after fighting your way through people who had just a few hours ago, been your friends. 

           “I’m looking for my father. He’s a middle-aged man. Last time I saw him, he was also wearing a vault suit and lab coat, very similar to myself.”

           Her words had come out slow and steady, despite the fact that she felt ready to bite down on her tongue at every word. 

           “Nope, sorry. I’d ask around town. Don’t much have the time to remember every person who comes through the gates.”

           Jasper felt her gut sink like a rock and frustration well up in her. How could he notice her and her vault suit but not remember a man who had come in not long before her in the exact same outfit? But then she thought quickly about the town, the state of this new world. Everyone, everything, was struggling to survive. She couldn’t expect charity here. It was obvious. She needed something. A bargaining tool. Her eyes caught onto the bomb again. There it was. 

           She turned back to Sheriff Simms, a new fire in her eyes. Jasper lowered her voice. “I’d like to ask you about the bomb.”

           Immediately, the man tensed up. His voice was on the defensive. “What about it?”

           From what Deputy Weld had said, it suggested that people were worried about the bomb, and if people were worried about the bomb, it had to mean it was still armed. Sheriff Simms almost confirmed it by not immediately reassuring her that it was disarmed and harmless.

           “I’m assuming it’s still armed. Would you like it to be disarmed?”

           There was no way that he trusted her, but he didn’t know what she could do. Knowledge was her blade and shield. She’d sharpened it with the help of her father. It was almost as if he had known that one day, she just might end up out here. With the shooting lessons starting from when she was ten, to teaching her about mines starting when she was thirteen. 

           Simms talked about things like churches and locals, and honestly, it all went over her head but then he said the words. “Why, do you think you got the know-how to disarm it? For good?”

           An opening. An opportunity. She had to grab it, even if it ended in failure. Jasper nodded. “I’ll take a look at it.”

           “Be careful with it. If you do end up disarming it, there’s a hundred caps in it for you.”

           Assuming “caps” were something along the lines of currency, something of value, Jasper headed straight for the bomb. If she did this, there was no way Simms could withhold information from her. She told herself she shouldn’t hold it against him, that she would most likely do the same if she grew up in this desolate place, but there was a small flicker of hatred that rose within her. She bit her wrist in an effort to let the pain bring her back to her senses. 

           A swipe of her Pip-Boy revealed exactly what she needed to know. After she’d gotten her Pip-Boy, her father had installed various documents and notes onto it. Some had been completely his own work, others were from miscellaneous sources, just random readings on things he thought she might need or find interesting. Then there were the notes that they had worked on together. He was so proud of the passion that burned in her to learn and devour every scrap of anything and everything. That passion had come through for her today.

           For some odd reason, as if he’d predicted she’d one day need to disarm a goddamn atomic bomb, he’d worked with her on making a checklist of what someone would need to do to disarm an atomic bomb. She had the utmost faith in the checklist, as he’d made her run computer simulations on whether or not their method would work. 

           She waited until no one was around to start working. She didn’t need anyone to get hostile on her. If she was a local, she wouldn’t be happy to see a stranger tinkering with a bomb that could destroy everything she knew either. Luckily, it was purely a matter of following instructions when she tinkered with the bomb. The tick-tick of her Geiger counter was worrying her, but she felt that she’d have to get used to constantly living with a little bit of radiation if she was going to survive out here. 

           In the end, it didn’t take very long at all. Jasper quickly dragged herself out of the pool of irradiated water surrounding the bomb and sprinted around Megaton trying to find Sheriff Simms. The only added benefit of sprinting was that it was helping to dry out her wet legs. She was damn glad that it wasn’t absolutely freezing as of yet.

           When he caught sight of her, she didn’t even need to say a word. “Well I’ll be damned! You did it! Here,” he handed her a bag that clinked when jostled. “That reward is well received. Actually, why don’t you move in? Someone like you might be good to have around here. Here’s the key. I’ll show you the place.”

           Dazed, Jasper couldn’t do anything but go with the flow. One hand grabbed at the bag of caps while the other clutched the key like a lifeline. No, she couldn’t let herself fall into his flow. She disarmed the bomb for a reason, and though having somewhere to freely rest was so incredibly valuable, right now, she needed to know if there was a trail to follow or not.

           “Sheriff Simms, there no words to tell you how grateful I am for your generosity but,” she inhaled shakily. “I’d like to ask about my father one more time. Any information, any lead, is invaluable.”

           Unlike the quick answer she’d been given last time, he seemed to be thinking more deeply, sifting through memories of the past hours and days. “You’ll want to visit Moriarty’s Saloon. Shouldn’t be hard to miss.” She repeated the name over and over in her head, committing it to memory. Jasper didn’t notice that they had stopped.

           “Here’s your new home. If there are any problems, tell me. Moira’ll help you out if you need any new furniture.”

           Responding with only a nod and a quiet thank you, Jasper stood at the door, wondering if she should see her “new home” or go to Moriarty’s. The decision was painfully obvious. She turned heel and made her way around, making notes in her Pip-Boy. She noticed that the water pipes were broken and that some places were in painful need of repairs. She’d have to find the right people to talk to. 

           Though finding her father was her top priority, catering to the needs of others might very well speed up the process exponentially. Having people who had more than a decent opinion of her couldn’t hurt her chances.

           Eventually, she managed to find herself in front of Moriarty’s Saloon, despite the completely idiotic way that some of the paths were built in this town. Who the hell decided it was a bright idea to have her walking on roofs and through hollowed out buses?

           She pushed her way through the doors and was confused to hear the sound of someone hitting a radio. She immediately bit down the skin on top of her hand when she saw the someone working the bar. Her eyes had gone wide and she prayed that he didn’t notice her staring because she was being rude and she hated being rude but she couldn’t help it. She was torn between intense curiosity and a healthy amount of fear because  _ what happened to them _ ?

           A map of pockets and patches all shades of deep brown, red, and skin greeted her. Their entire body seemed like a victim of burns. When she’d assisted Jonas and her father, she’d had to help out with members of the vault who’d accidentally burned themselves. Sometimes quite badly. However, that was usually contained to one appendage and even then, it hadn’t looked quite as bad as he did. Was it painful, she wondered. 

           Vaguely, she registered a woman’s voice calling out and telling the person (at least she thought they were a person), to stop abusing the radio. Jasper couldn’t help but agree. Hitting the radio would do nothing if the broadcaster’s signal was off, but she wasn’t about to say anything about that. 

           “Damn radio.”

           Their voice sounded like rocks rubbing together and Jasper’s hand instinctively moved to her throat because she was relatively sure that most healthy humans weren’t capable of having a voice quite like that. Sure, maybe having a cold will make you have a bit of a more weathered voice, but  _ that _ was like someone had played jump rope with your vocal chords. 

           “Hey kid, your throat okay?”

           It seemed like the woman had noticed her lingering in shell shock near the door. Quickly, she removed her hand from her throat and nodded curtly. Seemingly satisfied, she went back to talking to a man while moving quite sensually.

           From what Jasper could tell, only the woman and person were working there at the moment. She wondered if one of them was Moriarty, but the woman seemed busy. Which left her with one option. Steeling her nerves and trying to rein in some sense of courtesy, she took a seat at the bar, keeping her hands on the edges of the stool.

 

\--

 

           Gob really hadn’t paid any mind to the smoothskin lingering at the door until Nova had called out to the girl. She was a short thing, with glasses that took up a large amount of her face. Even though she had her lab coat buttoned up, he could still see the unique blues that could only mean vaultie. Resigning himself, he prepared to get potentially screamed at. Maybe get called a zombie. 

           Betraying his expectations, she didn’t scream at him or call him a zombie. She sat on a stool at the bar. She was avoiding eye contact and gripping the edges with a pressure that couldn’t have been comfortable to her or the chair. He watched her take in a long breath and let it out in an even longer exhale. He felt he shouldn’t interact with her, but caps were caps, and Moriarty wouldn’t dare allow him to neglect a customer.

           “Hey smoothskin, need a drink?”

           He watched her shake her head in response. Huh, what a surprise, she still wasn’t yelling or screaming. But her brows were furrowed and her lips thinned. She seemed like she was mulling over something serious.

           “Can I ask you a question?”

           Well, this was a first. A smoothskin initiating conversation with a ghoul. Though knowing smoothskins, this girl would just turn the question into another way to make fun of him. But it wasn’t like he could refuse. Moriarty would kill him.

           “Shoot.”

           “What happened to…” She pointed at her nose and then slowly moved her index finger to her cheek. 

           Gob couldn’t help being angry. It wasn’t like he wanted to look like this,  _ be _ like this. So he hissed quietly, “What, you’ve never seen a ghoul before?” But then he realized that this was a  _ vaultie _ . She’d probably only been around the smoothest of smoothskins. Of course she’d never seen a ghoul before. What the hell was he doin’, blaming her for only being curious?

           “‘Ghoul.’ Is that what you call yourself?”

           Sighing in resignation, Gob figured that it was better just to give her some damn answers and get this over with as fast as possible. “You see that radiation out there kid? This,” he pointed at his face. “Is what happens when you get too much of it.”

           There was no way he was about to spill more than that to her. Just because he was nobody now didn’t mean that he wasn’t someone before. Someone who had, maybe not perfect skin, but at least he had some damn skin he could talk about. Once upon a time he had something like self-worth too. He didn’t like thinking about it too much though. Just made him want to tear what little hair he had left out and  _ fucking _ sob at how far he’s gone.

           He almost forgot that the smoothskin kid hadn’t left until she asked yet another question. A simple, “May I?”

           Gob really didn’t know what the hell she wanted from him and was about to tell her as such, until he was struck by the sight of her upturned palm. There was  _ no fucking way _ . This had to be a trick. There was no way that she wanted to touch him, feel him. This had to be a sick trick. She was going to do something horrible to him. And yet. And yet. He didn’t care.

           It’d been so long since he’d felt anything that wasn’t a beating. Gob was ready to risk it. He was so starved for a touch that wasn’t painful, that had even the smallest speck of affection. It was almost painful how his heart was lurching out of his chest at the thought. But if this was a trick, he’d close himself off. He’d never trust any smoothskin again. He’d just close himself off. Never feel a thing.

           With that in mind, he shifted the rag he was using to wipe down the bar to his left hand and offered his right to her, palm turned up, hovering above her opened palm. Suddenly, he wondered if his hand was too dirty, but then he realized that filth didn’t matter compared to the skin that was just falling off his hand but then -- 

           All his thoughts flew out the damn window when her palm finally connected with his hand. Her right hand came over to trace all the cracked lines of his skin and  _ God _ he could feel tears in the corners of his eyes. Her fingers were  _ too damn soft _ and it was then that he realized that she just might be the softest smoothskin he’d ever met. It took all his strength to keep from groaning obscenely and scaring her off. 

           He gathered enough strength to look at her, expecting to see a look of disgust because  _ maybe he was just imagining all this _ , but her expression was simply one of intense focus. He felt a shudder go through him when he caught a flicker of  _ hunger _ and he cursed himself for even  _ thinking _ about that because there was no way. He was just a science experiment in her eyes. It was a hunger born from curiosity. But he realized that he would willingly lay over on any lab table she asked as long as she would just keep  _ touching _ him forever. 

           Languidly, her thumb brushed over his wrist, and the rest of her fingers slowly smoothed other the top of his hand and it was too much. He flinched slightly at the stimulation and it broke the vaultie out of her trance. Her hands immediately let go of his and he nearly begged her and wished there was a word that encompassed  _ please, no, I’m sorry, and don’t go _ all in one because there was no way he could get all of those out fast enough.

           “I’m sorry. That must have been awkward for you,” she dug out the pile of caps from one of her pockets and dropped a small handful on the table. “I know I didn’t buy anything but I hope you’ll accept these.” She pushed them toward him and he almost wanted to ask if she’d touch him again if he gave the caps back. 

           The 101 girl stood and went to the door, saying it’d been a long day and that being tired made her more of a nuisance and that she was sorry. She also mentioned that she’d be back the next day. 

           It was only after she’d left that he realized the hand he held the rag in had done nothing the entire time. The only thing he could be thankful for at the moment was the fact that there had been a bar separating him from her because that was one less way for him to embarrass himself. But at the same time, he wished that the bar had been gone so he could be one step closer to her, this girl with soft butterfly touches that made his heart beat so hard and so fast. 

           When he finally closed up shop and laid down on his mattress, he couldn’t stop his hand from sliding slowly down his pants and imagining that they were hers. 

 

\--

 

           Jasper laid down on her own mattress, staring up at her hands, which were so different from the hands of a ghoul. She’d simply been so fascinated by his condition that she’d completely forgotten to ask about Moriarty or her father. She felt the guilt welling up within her gut and wondered what kind of daughter she was, to get so easily distracted.

           Still, despite her worries about her father, she couldn’t help but hope that the ghoul was doing okay. He was so  _ touch-starved _ that it hurt her heart to wonder how he’d ended up that way. Jasper had noticed the way his eyelids flickered when she caressed his hands, and how his pupils had been blown wide.  

           When she’d made the excuse about leaving because she thought he’d felt awkward, it had actually been her. She’d never been so intimate with someone before, especially not someone she’d just met in a couple of hours. It was just that he was  _ so fascinating _ after she’d managed to get past the fear. 

           Honestly, she didn’t expect to stay in Megaton for long, but she’d try to give him as many touches as she could before she left. It wasn’t like it cost anything for her, but she figured it just might mean a lot to him. 

           Closing her fist, she promised herself that she would try to do right by him if she could. 


	2. Brush

           Looking at Gob, she supposed she could sympathize with his insatiable need for affectionate physical contact, even if she really couldn’t completely understand it herself. 

           In the vaults, the most she had gotten from her father was the rare awkward hug or an affectionate pat on the head. Both she and her father weren’t good at expressing themselves. They were the types to keep their feelings capped on tight. But she supposed if she had been a ghoul for years and years without anyone willing to even  _ brush _ against her, even she, who really didn’t care for physical contact in the first place, might begin to crave it. So yes, in some small sense, she understood. Not every ghoul was like Carol and Gretel, finding some sort of love where gentle, loving caresses could be the norm. Though she had to wonder if Gretel’s jealousy had truly been necessary, but supposing what she had to lose if Carol did happen to love Gob more, even as a son, seeing what Gretel might be able to lose, Jasper supposed she could understand that, just a little, as well.

           Needing to venture into the Capital Wasteland often, she humored Carol by delivering her letters to Gob. In turn, the nice ghoul would let her rest in the Underground at a discount. Today, she’d come back to Megaton, letter pulled out of her pocket as she headed toward Moriarty’s Saloon.

           When she entered, she was greeted with a bloody lip and blue eyes widening at the sight of her, at first in joy, then in deep concern. Honestly, she felt that he should be more concerned with his own injuries rather than hers. She’d taken out most of the raiders and had only been left with one close combat fighter, who’d gotten a good slash in on her forehead while she’d been reloading. At least she had the medical expertise to fix most of her own wounds and make some medicine. Gob was a different story.

           Inwardly, she knew Moriarty would never injure him to the point that he couldn’t work, but that still didn’t mean that it didn’t hurt the ghoul any less deeply. Every blow to his face had to leave a simultaneous blow to his heart, and there was only so much she could do with her small faraway touches. 

           She subtly re-pocketed Gob’s mail when she caught Nova’s eyes. Jasper had been preparing this for a long time. She’d been gathering all the  _ Tales of a Junktown Jerky Vendor _ and  _ Lying, Congressional Style  _ books she could. Jasper thanked all her lucky stars that she’d tutored during her time in the vault, because teaching someone how to become a businesswoman was hard enough as it was. She’d pay the caps for staying with Nova so Moriarty didn’t expect anything, but while their time was ticking, she’d be teaching Nova how to run a bar.

           At the end of the lesson, she’d end up asleep on the bed. Sometimes she woke to see Nova coiling an arm around her and wondered quietly to herself that if Gob was touch starved, maybe Nova was intellectually starved. People treated her like she was only good for her looks, but there was a whole lot of charisma there, and Nova knew how to flaunt it. Though Nova wasn’t a quick learner, she was stubborn, and most of the time that more than made up for the areas she was lacking in. 

           Jasper would have loved to teach Gob as well. Having worked in a bar with Carol, she had no doubt he would probably already have some base knowledge in running a business. Unfortunately, she knew that his being a ghoul would cause some problems at some point. Not to mention that Moriarty would never let him off of work for that long. She could try to sneak in lessons in the middle of the night, but that was too risky, and it wasn’t worth him losing sleep over her. After talking to Doctor Barrows, she knew that ghouls could go longer than humans without sleep, and she had no doubt that the bar’s sly and malicious owner took advantage of that.

           Beyond working with Nova, she’d planted some seeds in Canterbury Commons. She’d been investing in traveling merchants, who’d heartily agreed to help out Megaton in the future, thanks to the caps she’d so nicely paid. They’d agreed to supply the Saloon at a discount she would give the word. She told them that when it was time, she’d paint a signal at the front gates. 

           The final piece of the puzzle was the man himself. Moriarty. 

           Jasper realized how gray her morality had become when she found herself willing to kill the man. For Gob, for Nova. 

           Maybe her father’s death had finally caused her to snap. Or maybe she’d just always been like this, holding one hand full of justice and another red with mercilessness. Maybe her father had been the last strings of her sanity and now that it was severed she--

           It was better to not think, she concluded silently to herself.

           She let herself walk over to Nova.

           Jasper hoped that someday, someone would come strike Moriarty down so she wouldn’t have to. For now, she’d at least impart some skills, some backup in case things went south.

           If she couldn’t protect her father, she’d at least try to protect them.

 

\--

 

           He knew he shouldn’t feel bitter.

           But watching Jasper head over to Nova, instead of him, stung more than he was prepared for. He wondered if the kid would buy a room from her again. She’d been doing that more and more recently, and every time, it hurt to think about. Nova, the woman he’d been pining for every since he’d came to this prison, and the kid who’d been kinder than he’d ever deserved, the kid who let him brush his hands over hers “accidentally” and never flinched away. The kid who gave him Carol’s letters and reassured him that one day, it’d all work out. The kid who Three Dog sang high praises for, who Three Dog dedicated songs to over the radio. 

           If Nova had been out of his reach, the kid was the moon. A place he’d never be able to touch.

           Why would she come to him first anyway? Especially when there was Nova with that sway of her hips, her plump lips, and her come hither stare. He couldn’t even look himself in the mirror anymore, so why did he expect  _ her _ to? 

           He rubbed the rag over the bar just a little bit harder.

           Shamefully, on the nights when she stayed with Nova, he wondered what they did together when Jasper rented a room. Did Nova run her hands down the kid’s body, tweaking her  pert nipples with a sly smirk while Jasper bit her lip and flushed red in pleasure? Did the vaultie give Nova open mouthed kisses? Nibble on Nova’s bottom lip before devouring her mouth? Exploring Nova’s mouth with her tongue? Maybe she’d move to Nova’s neck, biting, licking,  _ sucking _ , until there were red love marks littering the older woman’s neck.

           He’d imagine the vaultie laying on the bed, biting down on her knuckles, looking up while her head was tilted, exposing her neck. Then Nova would be lifting the kid’s thighs over her shoulder, and then Nova’s mouth would descend down between the girl’s legs, making the most  _ obscene _ wet noises as she pumped her fingers in and out of the kid’s vagina. 

           Imagining Jasper’s voice was the worst. He imagined her loud, whimpering  _ faster, harder _ , as Nova pumped her fingers and nibbled on her clit. In his mind’s eye, he’d imagined Nova curling her fingers, hitting a spot in Jasper that made her go wild, panting and lifting her hips, her fingers clutching bedsheets like a lifeline. The vaultie would be moaning, whispering,  _ Nova, Nova please _ , and when she finally reached her peak she’d scream  _ Gob-- _

           Then he’d come all over his bedsheets with a muffled cry behind his hand as his cock twitched and trembled behind his other hand. 

           His fingers curled over the bar table at the thought and he desperately tried to calm his raging arousal because  _ now was not the time _ . 

           Shaking his head, he watched Jasper hand Nova some books. He’d never seen Nova’s eyes light up the same way as they had when the kid came bearing gifts. Gob couldn’t help but wonder if his eyes lit up the same way. The kid just had a way of making the world seem a little brighter, even when her world was dim. 

           He knew what happened to the father she’d been looking for. Three Dog didn’t make it private. It seemed so long ago that she’d first came out of the vault, first came to Megaton,  _ first touched him _ . Gob knew he shouldn’t be resenting the kid, thinking about her in this way in his mind. She’d just lost her whole world and he was being  _ jealous _ . 

           But then Nova leaned down and brushed her lips across Jasper’s cheek before moving toward the curl of her ear and  _ nibbling _ and  _ whispering _ and suddenly he didn’t know whether to be jealous of the kid or of Nova. 

           Leaning back with no small satisfaction, Nova led another client up the steps and to her room, books clutched under one arm. If Moriarty had seen, there would have been hell to pay, but Jasper seemed to have the man’s schedule down like clockwork, only coming late enough when he was asleep, or coming during his frequent smoke breaks. 

           Oh God she was coming over to him.

           Swelling within him was an overwhelming warmth that refused to defuse no matter how hard he willed it to disappear every time he saw her. His body always reacted so damn viscerally to the sight of her, especially since she’d  _ always, _ without fail, grace him with a generous touch, no matter if it was simply a brush of his arm or a warm hand on top of his. He couldn’t help but wonder in the quiet hours of the day, if she was trying to brainwash him. 

           Watching her take a seat at the bar, he instinctively pulled out a stimpack and Nuka-Cola. The small smile and warm eyes she’d grace him with was more than worth instinctively memorizing her purchasing habits. She left the exact number of caps on the table, before pulling out the letter from Carol she’d tucked away before. With a quiet carefulness that had been raised in her, she leaned over the bar and grabbed Gob’s hand with tenderness. She rubbed his hand with her thumb in small circles in an attempt to rid the ghoul’s tension. She placed the letter down on his open palm and made the effort to close his fingers over the piece of folded paper, prolonging the amount of physical contact she’d have with him. 

           There was no helping the way that his body instantly relaxed at the feel of her fingers, or how his eyelids fluttered in some unspoken relief. He tried to restrain himself from shuddering as her fingers ran over his skin without hesitation, her thumb rubbing the vein on his wrist. But he knew that the ripple that ran up his spine flowed through his hand as well.

           With half-lidded eyes, he glanced over nervously at Jasper, wondering if she’d remove her hands in discomfort. He noted with surprise that he still felt her hands on his. More shocking was the fact her eyes were closed as she continued to run her hands across his skin in slow strokes, as if memorizing the feel of his hands.

           Her comfortable, relaxed posture did strange, fuzzy things to his stomach that went straight to his groin. His body was losing the strength to keep him up. It was all he could do to stop himself from sinking onto the bar table, resting his head on the cool table and praise her name. 

           They’d never talked about this, this silent communication of soft touches from her side. Still, he knew she was perceptive, too perceptive for it to be good for her in this horrible new world. For some reason, she’d noticed his cry for attention, for affection, and for some reason, she’d responded. He’d never say anything, worried that if he’d mentioned it, he’d scare her away. It took no small effort to keep his body’s reactions to a minimum, but despite it all, he felt she noticed the things he’d tried to hide and more. Gob would be more ashamed if it weren’t for the fact that she never seemed to mind. During her journey through the Capital Wasteland, it seemed like she became better and better at hiding any reactions while he’d just gotten worse and worse.

           When her hands fell away, he stifled his disappointment. What had he expected? That she’d just stay there forever, cradling his hands? 

           “You should reply to Carol. She worries about you quite a bit.”

           He looked down at the letter in his hands and knows his mom’s soft heart is probably breaking for him, but it was his own faults that brought him into Moriarty’s clutches. Gob thought he’d been ready to leave the Underground, knew it would restore Carol and Greta’s relationship. At the time, he’d resented Greta as much as Greta resented him. He couldn’t understand why she was so against his presence. But after meeting Jasper, he could suddenly see where Carol was coming from. The thought of anyone or anything taking away the soft touches she reserved for him silently earned them an intense dislike that Gob didn’t know he could summon for anyone but Moriarty.

           There had been days when he’d seen the kid sitting with her dog, digging her fingers into his fur and affectionately digging her nose near the side of his face. Dogmeat had rested his head on her shoulder, nuzzling her neck affectionately. He hadn’t known that it was possible to be so jealous of a goddamn dog until he’d imagined himself, her fingers on his sides and her nose nuzzling into his neck. 

           “Uhh, thanks kid, I’ll let you know when I have a reply for you.”

           He tucked the letter into his pocket and turned back to face her, hoping she hadn’t gotten out of her seat to go yet. Spending time with her was a bright spot in his dark life, he wanted to savor every second he got to have with her. He’d never know when it’d be his last. 

           She was looking around. It was almost time to close, so the bar was empty for once, people having been tossed out at this point. Looking back at him, she cupped his cheek with one hand, and Gob worked hard to remember the feeling of her soft hand on his cheek because it was likely he’d never be able to feel this ever again. Jasper had lifted herself off the stool and was leaning far over the bar, until her cheek was pressed against his shoulder, and he’d dreamed about this since he’d seen the damn dog and his eyes were trying to close and his head might have been leaning into her hair--

           “If you or Nova need anything from me,  _ anything _ , don’t ever hesitate to ask.”

           The urge to shiver at the feeling of her breath playing across where his ear used to be was strong, but he clamped down on the urge because by the way she’d whispered and the low voice she used, there was a hidden meaning behind her words.

           She leaned back and sat back down on her seat, watching him with sharp eyes. Sometimes, he’d forget that the woman in front of him wasn’t a fresh-faced vaultie anymore. She’d seen her father die in front of her, she’d killed with one hand, and saved with the other. Behind her glasses, her eyes darted to where Moriarty was sleeping, and it wasn’t hard to get the message. 

           As much as he’d thought about what life would be like with his captor offed and gone, he’d never had the reality so close in his grip before. Right in front of him was someone who would  _ kill _ for him, and Gob never felt so blessed yet so afraid all at once.

           Three Dog had sung praises about her good heart, called her a million different names, but it all amounted to the same thing. She was trying to make the Capital Wasteland a better place. 

           He didn’t know if killing Moriarty would make Megaton better. Moriarty held a lot of power, kept caps flowing in from sneaky connections and some unsavory places. But Megaton needed the caps, and honestly, he wasn’t sure if he could hold the same power the old man did if he were even to inherit this place. It was too much to take in. He was so thankful, but he never wanted her to stain her hands just for him. He wasn’t worth her soft hands getting bloodied. 

           Fear was guiding his hands at the moment. All he wanted was for her to look at him like she looked at Dogmeat, eyes warmer than the sun with an affection that could destroy him from the inside out. He’d die happily with her name on his lips. 

           Gob hadn’t meant for his hands to fall on the sides of her face. Her mouth opened slightly in disbelief and Gob realized that he’d made a wrong move. His hands had to  _ leave _ . He was going to frighten her off in disgust because his torn hands were on her  _ face-- _

 

\--

 

           It’d been so long since someone had touched her, let alone her face, that she couldn’t help the way her mouth fell open. The texture of Gob’s hands had been a source of astonishment as well. She’d felt his hands multiple times, whether it was when he’d been handing her a Nuka-Cola or because she was handing him a letter. Still, the feeling of tracing the holes and tears of his hands with her fingers was a far cry from the feeling of those rough hands holding her cheeks. 

           Instinctively, her hands had cupped over his, preventing them from leaving. She never got tired of feeling his hands. Though the ridges and bumps never changed, it was a mountain for her to rediscover. It had first started out as medical, her wanting to know what it was. At some point, however, she’d wanted to give him comfort. He’d seemed so damn  _ lonely _ that she couldn’t help but want to give him some of the friendship he didn’t think he deserved. She wondered when her small glimmer of pity for Gob had turned into this bright flame that flickered wildly when he’d placed her hands on her.

           The look on his face was so very afraid that she couldn’t help but coo softly at him.

           “It’s alright Gob, it’s okay. I don’t mind at all.”

           The expression on his face was one of someone who looked ready to shatter on the spot. 

           She didn’t know what else to say to comfort him. He had so much self-loathing that it was near impossible to convince him that he was doing nothing wrong.

           Inwardly, she cursed Moriarty for ruining Gob so thoroughly that even when she was touching him, he thought that she thought him disgusting. 

           Jasper found it incredibly ironic that ghouls called her “smoothskin,” when he was probably the softest person she’d ever found in the Wasteland. Everyone else had a rigidness to them, most of their kindness eroded by the destruction around them. But he was always so timid, so willing to talk and get to know her. He’d tell her how she was his bright spot when Moriarty had gone too far, and it’d touch her deeply. It was so  _ raw and honest _ compared to Three Dog’s loud praises that echoed over and over across the radio. 

           “Smoothskin, i-it’s okay. I know I look l-like a corpse. You don’t have to k-keep tolerating me like this.”

           Frustration bubbled up. How could she show him that she didn’t care about his damn skin? In her mind’s eye, an image flashed across. It’d been from an old holotape she’d seen so long ago with Amata, a romance film. But it just might be enough.

           Still holding his hands in place, she turned her head to her right, her lips getting closer and closer to his right hand. Eventually, her lips brushed against his wrist. She placed small kisses there, and felt him tremble. Jasper had closed her eyes and continued to trail past his wrist, toward the palm of his hand. Her sensitive lips rubbed against his rough palm, and a ripple of pleasure caused her to feel warm between her legs. Feeling a bit mischievous, she languidly licked his palm, opening her eyes enough to make eye contact with him as she did so.

           Gob’s breath had picked up speed, and his eyes were wide as he watched her tongue move slowly on his palm. His fingers twitched and he couldn’t help the quiet, raspy moan that escaped his lips. 

           “Gob.”

           His body wasn’t responding to him anymore, he realized. But he made eye contact with Jasper, just so she’d know he was listening. 

           Her eyes were piercing him. She spoke slowly, her lips still near his hand. He could feel her breath near his fingertips. Her eyes told him to watch her.

           “I,” she placed a kiss on his thumb. “Like,” one more to his middle finger. “You,” a final one to his pinky.

           The hand she’d been trapping his hand with while she kissed his fingers, maneuvered itself so that her fingers interlaced themselves with his. 

           “I don’t care how you look. I like you, just the way you are.”

           Jasper paused, wondering how she should express her feelings towards him. Honestly, she’d never fully contemplated how she felt about the ghoul. She knew she liked him. He made her chest feel lighter. He made her want to smile. These feelings weren’t just feelings of mere friendship, but she was afraid to make them anything more than that. It was true, she felt a pull towards Gob, and often wondered how he was doing. Dare she say it, she  _ missed _ him during her travels. 

           Looking at him, she wondered if she’d gone too far. He looked so defeated,  _ so unbelieving _ . Maybe he wasn’t ready for this. Maybe she wasn’t ready for this. This admission of  _ whatever was between them _ . 

           But then he’d finally met her eyes of his own accord. She didn’t need to chase him for once. His grip in their interlaced hands tightened, and she squeezed back. His blue eyes were so open, and so very vulnerable. 

           Jasper realized that she was holding something very fragile in her hands.

           “ _ Thank you, _ ” he wrenched out.

           What could he be thanking her for, she wondered. But there was the sense that he was thanking her for this intangible, unspoken thing between them, something that was like tenderness and love, but with a strong tinge of desperation. 

           What could she say, what could she say but…

           “You’re welcome Gob."

           She didn’t know how long they stayed there, fingers interlaced in the late hours of the night, but she’d remember the weight of his hands in hers. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was listening to [this](https://youtu.be/7hZpo1ZJDxM) while writing. Felt it fit Gob's perspective pretty well.


	3. XOXO

           She was dead.

           Three Dog had been surprisingly silent when the news was given. There had been a day of mostly radio silence in respect for her sacrifice. She’d given up her life to secure her parents’ dream. Free, purified water, for all the Wastes.

           It was the first time he didn’t care what Three Dog said. It was the first time he didn’t care what she had done.

           He just wanted to see her face again.

           He wanted to lace his fingers through hers one more time.

           Gob had thought he should savor their time together because he figured one day, she’d get tired of playing with him. That one day, she’d realize how disgusting he was and slowly stop coming to see him, but she never had. It should have been obvious that the Capital Wasteland would be the thing to take her away, much like it took everything that ever mattered away.

           Of course, right before she had left, telling him about Project Purity, about the Brotherhood of Steel, things too big for his small life in Megaton, Moriarty had mysteriously died in the middle of the night, due to a heart attack.

           At the time, he’d been silently elated. He’d had no doubt Jasper would be back, and then he could tell _her_ something this time. He’d changed the sign from _Moriarty’s Saloon_ to _Gob’s Saloon_. Nova stopped letting people come to her bed and started helping him manage the stores and wares.

           He’d been worried about how they’d replenish their supplies when caravans started coming more often, and selling for cheaper as well. He’d been suspicious, of course, but their products were as authentic as they could be for a place in the Wastes, and they’d been doing fine. Drinks were still a necessity if one wanted to stay even a little bit sane in the Capital Wasteland. Some other travelers would come to Megaton as well, wanting to see this town so close to Vault 101. After the kid had went back home, he’d seen a couple of blue suits as well. Like her, they usually didn’t stay long, but some would venture out and come back.

           Overall, even with Moriarty gone, things seemed to run relatively smoothly. It wasn’t like the old man didn’t have a giant stash of caps, so even if they needed to spend more money on supplies, it would take a while before they really would have a problem. Even Lucas Simms seemed to be surprised at how well the town ran, even without Moriarty.

           Of course, Gob had his suspicions about the “heart attack” that took his former captor’s life. There were few who didn’t know about the vaultie’s skills with medicines. Though she never tried to take Doc Church’s job, of course, but she rarely needed to go see him, even going out of her way to modify stimpacks with her wealth of knowledge. He remembered their talk, and couldn’t help but wonder if she had known her days were numbered. Maybe she’d killed the man in case she didn’t come back.

           A gentle hand was placed on his shoulder, but it was where his clothes still covered up his skin. He knew it wasn’t her, wasn’t Jasper, because she’d always touch him where he was exposed, his forearms, his hands, his face. She’d always been trying to prove that she had no reservations about touching ghouls, about touching _him_.

           Grief heavy in his heart, he turned to look at Nova, who looked at him with an expression that simply said, _I’m sorry but you have to move on_ . He knew Nova meant well but he’d mourn Jasper as long as he damn well wanted to. There was no way he’d simply get over this. For however long he lived, he’d keep her memory with him. He couldn’t lose their time together. It wasn’t right that she’d gone and got herself killed. They’d never resolved this _thing_ between the two of them.

           Gob couldn’t think about the word, couldn’t say it, because once he did, he wouldn’t be able to go back. Besides, there was no telling she felt the same way. Maybe her feelings ran no further than friendship, though the gaze she’d given him when she’d nibbled her way through his hand felt so much _deeper_ than “just friendship.” But there was no way any smoothskin could feel deeper than that for a ghoul, especially for a ghoul like him.

           Even Nova, who had been the one he’d previously pined for, rejected his advances, accepting only his friendship, and once in awhile, reciprocating that friendship.

           But Jasper had been different. If anything, she gave _more_ than what he ever gave her. He hadn’t linked his hands together with anyone since before his ghoulification. The last time he felt hands on his face was when he was with Carol, and that was certainly different than how flushed he felt when she’d held his cheek. When he’d put his hands on her face, she stood her ground, there was no sign of her moving and he _adored_ her for it.

           But there was no point in speculation because she was never coming back.

           It had already been a month since she’d passed. Three Dog kept telling old stories about the things she’d done for their lives, ending nowadays with a, “Rest in peace kid, we all know you deserve it.” Other than that GNR would mention how the Brotherhood of Steel was trying to kill off the remnants of the Enclave. It was...surprisingly lackluster compared to when Jasper had been traveling around.

           He’d known that Jasper wasn’t much of a talker, but whenever Three Dog mentioned one of her accomplishments, she’d mutter to herself that “it wasn’t that big of a deal,” but then her lips would quirk up like she couldn’t believe she’d done something like that and it’d make him _smile--_

           He’d never see those lips again.

           So that was how most of his days went now. He’d remember what it was like to have Jasper’s warmth so near him, her eyes glinting behind her glasses, only to feel something piercing his heart when he realized she wasn’t coming back.

           Nova tried to make him feel better, talked to him more often as he became more and more despondent at the thought of her never coming back. But if even he didn’t know what could make him feel better, then what could Nova do?

           Well, he knew what would make him feel better, but that was an impossibility.

           So he worked, selling drinks, wiping down tables, and cleaning glasses. He could sleep at reasonable hours instead of having to stay up until he was thoroughly exhausted, he didn’t need to wake up at ungodly hours in the morning, and he could take smoke breaks whenever he wanted. But it still didn’t make him happy.

           Happiness would have been having her stand with him while he smoked, her arm brushing against his as they stood too closely, side by side. She’d roll her eyes as he smoked but still lean towards him anyway. Neither of them were big talkers, simply taking in the presence of another was enough for the both of them, quiet smiles when they realized they weren’t alone, but he would try to tell her then. He’d fumble over his words, he’d be awkward and she’d probably laugh, but he’d _try_ because he’d know she could be _gone_ at any moment.

           Now he’d never have the chance.

           He’d been afraid that he’d jinx this thing they had between them. So he’d never asked.

           Now he wished he had.

           He knew the words were perpetually stuck in the back of his throat far behind words like _adore, like,_ and _admire_. But if she were to appear today, he thought to himself, he might be able to unlodge that word, buried beneath all the others.

 

\--

 

           Someone had broken into the bar. Granted, the lock to the saloon had always been an easy pick, but the fact that some stranger got past everyone in Megaton without any suspicion and made their way into the bar most likely meant that this person was from town. Nova had started staying with Lucy West a short while after Moriarty had kicked the bucket, and wasn’t there to help guard the store. Gob couldn’t help but wonder if that was a blessing or a curse. At least she wouldn’t be getting hurt, but at the same time, he was one man down.

           He gripped the bat the vaultie had left there so long ago, ready to fight if need be. He didn’t expect to drop it and have it clatter to the floor. Then again, he hadn’t been expecting _her_ to be their intruder.

           Jasper looked even more sickly than she had ever since coming out of the vault. Her hair was longer and looked incredibly ruffled, as if she’d been wearing a helmet for some time. Still, her glasses were perched on her nose as always, but a shiny new rifle hung on her back. She glanced at him, then at the bat on the floor, and her eyes shimmered with amusement.

           “This how you treat your favorite customer Gob? You try to hit them with their own bat?”

           Gob was shaking. There was no way that she was alive. Was she a ghost? Did someone drug his drinks with a powerful hallucinogen? Three Dog had proclaimed her death all across the Wasteland, and he wouldn’t do that without some powerful proof.

           Besides, he didn’t want to jinx this.

           She looked so real, so tangible. But no, he didn’t step any closer, afraid he might shatter something, so he played along, his voice stuttering.

           “M-my favorite customer wouldn’t b-break into my bar.”

           Jasper _giggled_ , a sound so light that made Gob felt that this couldn't be real because Jasper never _giggled_. But his heart broke into song when she looked at him with the warm, hazel eyes he’d missed so much.

           “I should make it up to you then. Get back in your good graces.”

           He was just about to ask her what she meant by that, but then she opened up her arms.

           He stared at her blankly, watching her roll her eyes just slightly behind her glasses before realizing that she was giving him a choice to take the initiative. It didn’t take long for him to realize he wanted to. So he inched closer, taking slow, measured steps to reach her. Jasper was patient, she stood by calmly as he came near.

           Gob had so many questions running through his head. Why did Three Dog think she was dead? What had she been doing for the past month if she wasn’t dead? Usually, she’d only leave for two weeks before ending up back at Megaton.

           But he supposed he’d ask later. All his questions fluttered out of his mind when her arms circled around his waist. She pressed herself to him deeper and buried her nose into his neck and breathed in loudly, as if she’d been underwater all this time and was just surfacing to find air.

           Gob was still trying to figure out where to position his arms while Jasper had her hands clawing his shirt. He probably smelled like sweat and beer and grime but she just kept digging her nose as if she was a dog digging for a bone. His hands hovered behind her back in this one-sided hug.

           “You feel like home,” the kid tiredly whispered.

           There had to be a problem with his heart because he felt like his chest was being compressed by a weight that was much too heavy for him and his eyes might have been prickling just a _tiny_ bit. He let his hands fall on the small of her back and tilted his head until he felt her hair tickling the side of his head.

           “Missed ya’, smoothskin,” his voice rasped out.

           A smile formed against Gob’s shoulder, and suddenly his heart was heavy and fluttering at the same time. Cautiously, he lifted his hands off her, wondering if maybe he said too much. Feeling the loss of his hands, Jasper spoke, her words slurred from exhaustion.

           “I missed you too Gob.”

           Maybe she could hear it, the way his heartbeat picked up for her. It struck him, the word dislodging from his mind’s grip. The strength of his _love_ for her.

           She was leaning too heavily against his shoulder, and Gob knew that she should be getting to bed. Somehow, he got the feeling that she wouldn’t be walking back to her house, no matter how short the walk was. He wondered why she’d come here, breaking and entering instead of waiting until tomorrow, when she’d gotten a full night's rest in who knows how long. A conclusion in mind, he went about removing the rifle from her back, and then worked on the filthy regulator jacket she had perched on her shoulders.

           “Trying to get me out of my clothes, Gob? Moving fast, don’t you think?”

           Emboldened and a bit high on the fact that the smoothskin he adored wasn’t dead after all, he’d replied, voice raw and throaty, “As much as I’d like to see you with nothing on, you need to get to sleep.”

           That got a good snicker out of her as he guided her to his bed. There was no way he was going to let her sleep anywhere else, he thought with a small possessiveness. She laid down and Gob could only hope that there would be one day when his fantasy of her bare on his bed would come true. For now, he laid her items down nearby and was about to walk back to the front entrance before an _actual_ thief noticed the unlocked door and decided to go for the easy opportunity.

           But she’d circled her fingers around his wrist and he was left standing there, trapped by her hand. He watched her take off her glasses and place it down on the nightstand, fingers still curled around his wrist, most likely feeling his pulse, and then she pulled him down by the neck of his shirt. Offering no resistance, he leaned down far enough that his breath mingled with hers. He could never resist her.

           “After you lock that door, come straight back here, alright?”

           Gob was about to ask her why, but his question was cut off by the soft brush of her lips and his and his blood pounded through his body, lighting his skin on fire. Her lips slid over his ruined lips, and then he felt her teeth softly catch his bottom lip and _tug_ and he was lost in her. When he felt her tongue slide over his, he went into action, trying to give as good at he got. He felt a moan and replied with his own shuddering groan.

           It felt like an eternity, and yet it was over all too soon when she drew her lips away, both his and her saliva on their tongues. He was panting, he hazily realized. He had to do something, but he’d forgotten what. Everything was a fine fog in his mind. All he could feel was the fire across his skin and especially on his lips. Somewhere in his mind, he registered her fingers letting his wrist go, but then that hand was near his lips and her thumb dragged across his bottom lip and she was looking at him with such a _hunger_ he’d never seen on a woman before--

           “You should go lock the door Gob, I’ll be here.”

           Maybe he was imagining all this, he thought. Maybe he was going _feral_.

           Regardless of his current condition, he wasn’t about to leave the door unlocked, so he left in a daze. He felt the lock slide and he couldn’t help but think about how he wanted to feel her under his fingers.

           He might have walked a little faster than he normally would have, but could you blame a ghoul?

           When he returned, he was greeted to Jasper, her hair splattered out on of his pillows, in only a tank top and underwear. She’d been laying on her side, eyes dangerously close to closing completely for the night. Jasper patted the empty side next to her, urging him to come lay down.

           As much as he’d loved to have laid down next to her, it was now that his insecurities came flooding back. Despite the fact that she’d just dragged him into a kiss a matter of minutes ago, he felt his confidence fade. Was she sure she could stand to see his face first thing in the morning? Was she simply too tired to realize what she was doing? Would she end up regretting coming to him tonight?

           “Gob you get in your bed if you want a kiss goodnight,” Jasper spoke with irritation.

           Eyes widening, Gob trudged over, moving as if one wrong move would set her off. It took a while, but he ended up lying next to her, leaving small gap of space between them. He could see her roll her eyes as she shuffled closer to him, forcibly tangling her legs through his. Her fingers brushed against where his nose used to be, eyes twinkling in amusement.

           He averted his eyes away, not wanting to see any potential disgust she might have from seeing him up close. But then she moved her hand to his cheek and spoke.

           “We just kissed Gob. I give you permission to touch me if you want.”

           With those words, she pressed her lips to his again, giving him the kiss she’d promised before, a yawn leaving her lips soon afterward. In the back of his mind, he noted that she was much more talkative when she was tired.

           Tentatively, he placed one of his hands on her hip, rubbing the exposed skin there softly with his thumb. He didn’t remember what happened next. The rest of the night was a blur, and at some point, the both of them had fallen to sleep, both exhausted by the events that had taken place.

           Gob held on to the hope that she’d still be there the next morning.

 

\--

 

           Embarrassment flooded through him at the feeling of her core pressed against his thigh. The stiffness of his cock wasn’t helping matters either. Jasper was looking up at him coyly, moving closer as he tried to shuffle away, not wanting to let her know how excited he was. The fact that he was seeing more skin than he’d ever seen on a person in a _long_ time wasn’t helping matters.

           Jasper, who knew way too much about anatomy for her own good, and having a near sixth sense, couldn’t help but use her knowledge to tease the lovely ghoul laying beside her. When Gob had finally reached the edge of the bed, with nowhere to move, Jasper glued herself to him, feeling his dick poke against her stomach.

           “Someone’s happy to see me.”

           There was no time to reply because then she rolled her hips against his thigh and Gob was staring at her with a glassy look in his eye. Disappointment washed over him quickly as she fished on her glasses and got out of bed to her clothes on.

           “You’re leaving?”

           Jasper looked at the kicked puppy look with amusement. She softly kissed his cheek with all her things packed. The look on his face lessened slightly in its severity.

           “You still have a bar to run now, owner. Besides,” she gestured to her full pack. “I need to organize a few things and make sure Wadsworth hasn’t broken down.”

           Gob knew that she had a busy life, and was worried that the next time she left, she actually wouldn’t come back. When was she next leaving? Would he be able to see her again tonight? How could he ask her to stay with him when there were people out there who needed her help? But his selfishness was too strong to fight, especially since she’d just given him his hit after an entire month of tactile withdrawal.

           “Will you...will you come over tonight?”

           A pleased look flashed over the kid’s face as she registered his request. “Did you know that you’re the only person in the entire Capital Wasteland who hasn’t asked me for anything?”

           Guilt flashed through him. Of course, she’d be angry that he asked her for something. She probably had hundreds of requests given to her that she’d been obligated to do. Of course, she didn’t have the time to indulge his whims--

           “And yet, you’re the only one I really wanted to help.”

           He looked at her then, her fondness for him bleeding through her entire frame. But then her eyes shifted back to that hungry look he’d seen on her last night and wondered if he’d had the same expression because he wanted her so, _so_ badly. He didn’t notice her hands brush between his thighs, finding his obviously stiff arousal with ease. He couldn’t help the way he bucked his hips at the pressure that was suddenly too much around his cock.

           “Besides,” she stroked him once and she was rewarded with a raspy whimper. “I think this problem is one for a pair.” Her lips brushed against where his ears used to be and she whispered, “Right?”

           “ _Kid_ ,” he hissed.

           She let him go, giving him one final peck on his lips before leaving his room.

           “I’ll be back tonight after the bar’s closed. Makes sure to leave the door unlocked for me.”

           As she left, Gob was left with a hard problem that he knew he had to get rid of before customers started pouring in. Somehow, he felt she knew what he was about to do, and wondered if he should have made her stay and watch. The thought of her half-lidded eyes watching him as he moaned her name made him throb. He imagined her hands sliding down between her own legs and her fingering her clit.

           Gob quickly unbuttoned his pants so that his member was exposed. He brushed his thumb over the tip and arched into his hand. He used his other to cup his balls. He stroked hard and fast, imagining her watching him, her hand mimicking his speed, her rubbing circles on her clit and cupping a breast, flicking her thumb over her pert nipple. Her face was flushed and she was moaning now, in his mind’s eye. Her eyes were screwed shut in pleasure, moans dissolving into whimpers. He just needed, wanted her to be pleased. That’s what really got him going. It was always her face, twisted in pleasure, calling out his name that got him losing control in the end. His hand stroked faster and his hips had risen off the bed.

           “Fuck, ah… smoothskin, smoothskin please…”

           He needed her to come first, he couldn’t let himself go until he saw her face, until she cried out his name. He could see her, her hand moving furiously, her mouth was open and she was almost there and then--

           “ _Gob_!”

           White exploded behind his eyes has he bucked uncontrollably into his hand, calling out her name as his other hand gripped the bedsheets. He collapsed, spent, wondering how the hell he was going to serve customers all day when she was so damn _close_ . In a few hours, his fantasies would be merging with reality and he _really_ didn’t want to test how long he could work with his stiff member pressed against him.

           At least she wasn’t going to be around to tease him, he supposed, wondering why he was so disappointed by that thought.


	4. penetration

            The urge to close down shop for the day was getting stronger and stronger. In retrospect, he realized, he should have realized that she would be up to something.

            At first, it hadn’t been so bad. He’d been surprised to see her come into the saloon, but it was almost time for closing, so he wasn’t too bothered, though he couldn’t help the dirty thoughts quickly flooding through his mind at the sight of her. It seemed like every fantasy he’d had from day one decided it was time for him to have a movie of him and the vaultie fucking on every surface playing through his mind.

            Jasper had gone up to Nova, who’d heard she’d been seen around town, but hadn’t yet confirmed it with her own eyes. The older woman’s eyes flashed fondly and she’d wrapped her arms around Jasper in an affectionate, welcome back. But then Nova gave him the most knowing look he’d ever seen and he’d watched hands trail down Jasper’s back and firmly squeeze her ass. He looked on with wide eyes, though all the other customers didn’t seem to notice, or didn’t care.

            When the two girls parted, Jasper was giving Nova a questioning look, which made Nova cover up a smile behind one hand while giving Jasper a firm _smack_ on her behind with the other.

            He might have been able to live with just Jasper being there, giving him quick glances that seemed to be aimed directly under his clothes while licking her lips, but Nova seemed like she wanted a part in edging him on as well, looking directly at him as she touched Jasper’s sides, neck, and hands in quick touches as she talked to customers. His fingers twitched with each caress he saw, and each shiver Jasper gave when Nova hit a particularly sensitive spot. God did he want to touch her but there were still a few minutes left before the bar would close and then Nova would _definitely_ want to stay to help clean up because Nova was a goddamn tease and seemed to have passed that on to Jasper as well.

            Sure, having gotten himself off in the morning helped to ease the tension for most of the day, but it had been hours since then, and now Nova was whispering in Jasper’s ear and the latter’s eyebrows had gone up. In other words, not a good sign, at least for his state of arousal. As she wandered over, he couldn’t help but eye her swaying hips, imagining his hands holding them down as he ground into her--

            The bar had better close soon or he wasn’t going to make it through without taking her then and there, customers be damned.

            “Hey Gob.” When the hell had she gotten so close to his ear? Oh, _oh_. Her hand was stroking his neck so very softly. He felt his eyes flutter, nearly closing in pleasure. Her hands played with his torn skin, lingering at every bump and ridge, her finger tips making small, circular motions. “Nova wanted to know how you were going to be fucking me tonight,” she whispered.

            His eyes snapped wide open, pupils wide.

            “All right everyone, closing time! Get your drunk asses out of here!” Nova cried out.

            Jasper stayed still, breath still near his ear, and Gob watched as the last few customers grumbled out. He prayed that Nova would have mercy and _leave_ , but again, he should have known better.

            Instead, Nova grabbed the vaultie and spun her so that the two women were facing each other. Nova ran a hand down the side of Jasper’s face before hooking onto her chin and pulling her into an open-mouthed kiss. Gob could only watch and listen to the wet noises that came from the melding of their mouths. He almost didn’t notice that Nova had pushed the smaller woman onto the edge of a table, forcing her to lay down on it. Nova started tugging on her shirt next, breaking the kiss to pull it over her head.

            Jasper panted as Nova tossed the shirt to Gob, who’d been frozen in place by the stimulating display, his cock pulsing against his thigh.

            Nova winked at him as he scrambled to catch the shirt leaving with one last remark of,

            “Have fun you two!” The lock to the door clicked from the outside.

            Gob wringed the shirt in his hands, cursing Nova for leaving the two of them like this. Hell, he’d been nervous enough about the entire thing in the first place, and he’d wanted to give her the chance to gracefully back out if she’d wanted to. It would be wretchedly painful, but he still wanted her to stay in his life. If they did this, there was no chance he could turn back. He’d just want more and more of her. The hunger would be all consuming, and he didn’t even know if he could stand waking up in the morning to his face, day after day.

            Feeling an intense gaze directed toward him, Gob reluctantly lifted his head from the shirt in his hands and locked eyes with the vaultie, afraid of what he might see. At this point, though, he should have been expecting her to defy his expectations.

            Jasper was running her eyes down, his face, his arms, his hands, his chest. She was devouring him with her eyes, trying to memorize the colors of his skin, how his veins appeared and disappeared. Everything. She was going to learn every part of him like she studied her books back in the vault. She was going to look at him until she could draw out every detail from memory. It would take years, maybe more than her entire lifetime to learn, but she’d always been thirsty for knowledge, and Gob was someone she was willing to dedicate herself to learning.

            Dropping the shirt, he let a hand ran through her hair as she tried to busy her twitching fingers from reaching out and touching him. Her lower lip caught itself between her teeth as she imagined him with her mouth. Initiation had to be left up to him. She’d hopefully made it clear enough in the past hours that she wanted him. Now it was his turn.

            Gob watched her hand rake through her scalp and his fingers drummed against his thighs. He wondered what her hair felt like. It’d been so long since he’d felt hair that the sensation was lost to him, buried deep in his memories. Since she was so keen on trying to consume him with her eyes, he let his pale blue ones wander over her, tracing with his eyes where each bullet hole had pierced through her and scarred over, where there were burns from flamers and explosions.

            Gob wondered if they still hurt. Gob wondered if she’d let him run his fingers over each one and kiss them. He imagined the two of them laying in bed during a lazy afternoon and just learning each other’s bodies. A weight much too heavy for his heart was crushing his chest, making it hard to breathe. He closed his eyes and let the imagery drift over him.

            It was clear to him what he wanted, but his feet wouldn’t move and his hands stayed close to him, wringing out a shirt that wasn’t even his. Once a coward, always a coward.

            But it was so hard to stay away when she looked at him, the only person in the world to look at him like he was valuable and _wanted_.

            His feet started to move.

            He didn’t know what his body was doing, all his focus was pinpointed toward _her_ . The way her eyes lit up when he came closer and she was going to break his heart one day but the way she was looking at him with such _adoration_ made him think that he’d be okay with dying if it was in her arms.

            In no time he stood in front of her and noticed the way her chest heaved, pert, dark nipples puckered up on small breasts. She’d lifted her arms over her head, looking at him darkly through her lashes, lip still caught under her teeth. His hands brushed against her forehead, rubbing at the scar slashed across there. His other hand went to her hair and he relished the feeling of such soft locks brushing against the sides of his fingers. He dug deeper, scratching into her scalp only to hear a muffled gasp. A blush crept across her neck and ears.

            “Again,” she whispered. “Please.”

            What could Gob do besides comply?

            He dug his fingers into her hair and groaned with her as he scratched her scalp near the back of her neck. He watched goosebumps prickle over her flesh and tried to catch them as they faded, feeling the little bumps dance across his palm as he brushed against her arm.

            Gradually, she’d opened her legs little by little, dragging him closer by catching his wrists, bringing them to her breasts and guiding his fingers toward her areolas. She dragged his hands until his fingertips touched the tips of her nipples, sending electricity down her stomach straight to her clit. She shivered and Gob started panting heavily.

            She let his wrist go but brought her legs around to capture his waist and drag him in until their bodies were connected. His head dropped against her shoulder on the table, hands falling at her sides.

            “Smoothskin,” he groaned as she rolled her hips, grinding against his erection. It nearly came out as a choked sob. “You’re killing me here. Give a guy a break.”

            Head buried against her neck, he didn’t see the mischievous light that flickered across her hazel eyes, nor did he see the small smirk that crossed her face.

            Her hands danced across the sides of his waists, and her smirk grew into a grin as he jerked, trying to get away from her evil hands, snickers escaping his lips and she grew more fervent in her ministrations. Unfortunately, her thighs kept him locked into place, offering him no escape. He tried to cover up his laughter behind his hands, continuing to roll his hips to try to get her to free him with no such luck.

            Unintentionally, he’d rolled his hips just right while trying to escape that he’d hit a sweetspot for the both of them, causing Jasper to immediately drop her hands and roll her hips back, trying to grasp at that fleeting pleasure that had just crawled up her spine.

            Dazed by the sudden spark of pleasure, Gob closed his eyes as Jasper ground down on him decisively, whimpering when she’d grind down just hard enough to feel through his pants.

            When the haze faded, he grabbed her hips to stop her from doing anymore because he was already painfully hard, and they hadn’t even gotten out of most of their clothes yet.

            “Slow down kid, it’s been a while since I’ve done this sort of thing,” he grit out.

            He felt hands roughly grab his face and he was surprised at how arousing it had been coming from her. He’d been used to her soft, welcoming touches so this tighter grip had been a surprise. He met her sharp, hungry eyes.

            “Gob, I don’t care if you come in me, in my mouth, on the floor, or in between my breasts. We’ll have enough time to go through all those scenarios. But I’ve been waiting all day for you, so I apologize, but _slow_ is the last thing on my mind.”

            Images suddenly flashed before his eyes, each one causing his member to throb and a shudder to crawl up his spine. The thought of her lips wrapped around him nearly undid him. But his heart clenched at the thought of doing this with her over and over. He leaned down and pressed his forehead against hers, eyes shut as her fingers linked together behind his neck, making sure to leave burning caresses as they slid around, chaining him to her.

            “Kid, are you even real?”

            Jasper nuzzled his nose with a soft smile. “I might be amazing Gob, but I’m no figment of your imagination.” As if to prove herself, she brought her lips to his, letting them brush lightly over each other gently, feather light kisses. When she let him go, he let his head rest on her shoulder again, her breasts pressing against his dirty shirt.

            “You’re not,” he breathed deeply, “really convincing me here.”

            “I don’t believe the next couple of minutes are going to ground you to reality, but it was worth a try.”

            Gob started nibbling on her neck and her collarbone. Hearing her breathy whimpers was becoming an addiction, and he was a man going through withdrawal. He felt her hand start burying beneath his shirt, nails lightly scraping against his back. Jasper’s nose bumped against the crook of his neck and his breathing picked up when her teeth caught the sensitive skin there. One of his hands moved to get her back, falling on her nipple and rolling it between his thumb and his forefinger.

            “Gob, don’t stop…” Her head fell back as he continued to tease her nipple, enjoying the feeling of the little nub rolling between his fingers.

            With what little strength she had left, she pressed her hips down against him, rubbing harshly against his erection, making his fingers pause as Gob sought to regain control.

            “Come on Gob. Pants.”

            “Smoothskin, you need to get her legs off me first.”

            A long, exaggerated sigh left her lips, her eyes dancing. Acknowledging his argument, her thighs loosened around his waist before her knees fell to her chest, her own fingers working to rid herself of her own pants and underwear. He made quick work of his own pants, but felt regret bubble up in him afterwards, staring at his erect cock, tearing up with pre-cum. Embarrassment welled up within his gut, and he wondered if it was still too late to stop everything and run into his room to finish off what they’d started. She’d said that she didn’t care about it, but could she still say that with it all staring at her in the face?

            He looked up when he heard the sound of bare feet touching the floor. It sounded like she’d rid herself of her socks and worn out sneakers as well.

            It might have been decades since he’d seen a naked woman, so sure, he might have been biased, but she was a damn sight. Beyond the scars and the burns, there was a woman who’d been _kind_ to him, and that made her more beautiful to him than any pre-war pin-up girl.

            Hopelessly, his eyes followed her until she stood in front of him, her own eyes drinking in the sight of him. He tried to suppress the urge to run and hide as she scrutinized him, focusing instead on the mole on her hip, trying to prevent his eyes from roaming like hers were.

            Of course, that meant he hadn’t noticed her hand move toward his cock.

            With a gentle brush of her fingers, she had him gasp and instinctively moving to clutch her hip as his bucked, unused to having any hands besides his touching the most sensitive part of his body. When her hand completely encircled him, his chin touched his chest, mouth open and raspy whimpers escaping him as she slowly pumped, making him lose his sanity a little at a time. If she started going any faster, he wasn’t going to be able to last much longer.

            “Bed,” he growled out.

            “Thought you’d never ask.”

            Loosening her hold on him, she dragged a finger from the base of him to the tip, smearing his cum around, leaving his knees weak. It was only when her other hand grabbed one of his and interlocked their fingers that she released him, choosing instead to pull him towards his room.

            When they reached his mattress, she pushed him down, and he couldn’t help but be surprised by the strength in her, even though he knew that she’d probably never have been able to come back to Megaton so many times if she’d been at all weak. His eyes locked on hers as her hair fluttered around him like a halo. She smiled softly at him, cupping his cheek with one hand as her other elbow held her up, her knees at his sides. Subconsciously, he leaned against her hand and a thought fluttered across his mind. With no small anxiety in his chest, he grabbed her hand and brushed his lips across her palm, just as she’d done for him at one time.

            Gently, she pushed at his cheek so that they were face to face once more. She noticed his eyes tinged with fear, probably wondering when she was going to leave him, hard and wanting. Jasper would just have to prove him wrong.

            “Keep your eyes on me okay? This is all for you.”

            She lifted her hips up and reached behind her until she grabbed a hold of his cock, stroking him slowly at first, then quickly picking up her pace until his hands started leaving red scratches at her hips, his growls getting louder and more needy.

            Jasper knew that Gob was insecure, and she wanted him to know with the utmost certainty that she wanted this, that she didn’t find his form unappealing. She’d already planned this out. Hopefully, it would be enough.

            Placing one of her hands over his, she watched confusion flash over his eyes as she removed it, guiding it until their hands were between her thighs. Confusion changed to shock, and he was looking at her with wide eyes, silently asking permission, expecting nothing less than some horrid reaction, she was sure.

            “You should know how much I want this Gob. My body won’t lie to you.”

            Permission granted, she removed her hand from his, leaving him to do as he wished. She nearly collapsed when she felt the odd texture of his ghoulish hands brushing against her labia. The urge to grind down and chase that fleeting pleasure was strong, and it only became more intense as his fingers fluttered between her inner lips, coming out wetter and stickier than they had been going in. Jasper’s head fell back when his thumb pressed against her clit, making her jerk and moan involuntarily.

            “Christ kid, you’re so wet,” Gob hissed in need and disbelief.

            “Gob,” she sobbed when his thumb started circling her clit. “Use...ah! Use my name.”

            Her head fell to her shoulder and Jasper was shaking. She knew she had to finish this soon.

            Once again, she grabbed Gob’s member and moved away from his thumb as she guided him in her. She felt him fill her and giggled in her lustful high as he pulsed in her. In response, she clenched her inner walls, watching in pleasure as Gob threw his head back, bucking his hips.

            Jasper made sure his eyes were on her as she started to move, lifting her hips up and falling back down again, enveloping him completely once more. To help her along, Gob’s thumb found its way back to her clit, flicking it as groaning as he felt her inner walls pulse in time with his ministrations.

            He watched her closely, the way her lips parted, letting out soft moans and whimpers laced with his name and the way she moved toward his working thumb. Gob watched her work herself on his cock, trying to find the right angle to fall against him to get the most pleasure she could. Gob could do nothing but watch her ride him, taking his own pleasure in the way her warm walls tightened around him, making him throb more and more frequently as they both raced toward the finish line.

            Jasper came with a loud cry, his name like a prayer on her lips, and he caught the way her eyes shut and her mouth opened in pleasure, her face marked with all the signs of sexual release. For a moment, a flash in time he realized that it was him. He’d been the one to make her come, one of the few, possibly the only person who she’d revealed this face too. The combination of the hot clenching in his heart and the fire in his member when she’d tightened so fiercely around him was too much, and as she continued to clench around him, her walls milked the orgasm right out of him. He felt like he shot into her forever before the white light faded and he was able to see the shabby ceiling again. His throat felt more hoarse than normal and he wondered if he’d screamed so loudly that he’d lost his voice, not that he remembered anything except for blinding lust.

            At some point, Jasper had collapsed beside him on the mattress, smiling at him smugly. Time didn’t seem to be running so smoothly to Gob anymore. A side effect of having sex after too long maybe. It was messing with all the chemicals in his brain more than any drug out there.

            He hadn’t even noticed that he was brushing her hair out of her face and tucking it behind her ear until his hand hung awkwardly there.

            Her smile turned into a grin at his frozen expression. She went to remove her glasses, placing them on the nightstand behind her before turning back to him.

            “It’s okay if I stay here for the night, yes?”

            The “of course” was stuck in his throat, so he settled for nodding, allowing her to nuzzle her nose into his chest.

            Minutes passed, and Gob felt her relax considerably. She was probably going to fall asleep anytime soon, the both of them clothesless and far more intimate than they ever should have been.

            Gob was surprised that he almost couldn’t care. There was only this moment for him. It could be gone tomorrow, in a few hours even. He was going to get all he could out of this. He’d have this night for the hundreds of lonely ones he was sure to encounter without her. It would have to be enough, he thought as his heart started to hollow out inside him at the reality of the situation.

            “Will you stay here forever?”

            “If you’ll have me.”

            Gob hadn’t even realized he’d asked the question, let alone realized that Jasper was conscious enough to answer. He felt tears prickle at the corners of his eyes at her answer, slurred by sleepiness. She didn’t know, couldn’t know how he felt about her, about what that answer meant to him. It flooded the emptiness of his chest, making him feel like he was suffocating. A million excuses screamed in his mind, telling him that there was no way she was telling the truth.

            But he wanted to try to believe. Just once in his life, he wanted something to go right for him.

            So he stroked her hair until she went to sleep, tears dripping down his chin as he did the one thing he’d trained himself not to do since he’d been under Moriarty’s reign.

            He hoped.

            He believed.

            Jasper held a very precious thing in her hands now. Something that he hadn’t even realized he’d given away. But he’d gotten something precious and dangerous in return, he supposed.

            “See you tomorrow,” he whispered before letting himself sink into dreams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading until the end! This was meant to be a stand alone thing, but if inspiration hits, I may put this in a collection and add in some more stories. I hope all you Gob/ghoul lovers out there enjoyed.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Crazy He Calls Me](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8644909) by [magnificent](https://archiveofourown.org/users/magnificent/pseuds/magnificent)




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